


I fell heavy into your arms

by tirelessstars



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Angst, Azula’s redemption arc if you squint, Canon complaint but only for the comics and LoK, Canonical Character Death, Character Death, F/M, M/M, Mutual Pining, Parenthood, Sex, Slow Burn, Sokka is Suyin’s father, Underage Drinking, but nothing graphic, even though there are many relationships this was originally supposed to be a zukka fic, so really slow, then things got out of hands, this is set over the course of fifty years
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-11
Updated: 2020-08-11
Packaged: 2021-03-06 03:09:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,546
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25842595
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tirelessstars/pseuds/tirelessstars
Summary: The days following the ending of the war are joyful and Zuko visits his uncle in Ba Sing Se with his friends. He feels the same pang of jealousy he felt the night of his celebration whenever Suki and Sokka are affectionate with one another, but he doesn’t dwell too much on it. It must be loneliness, he thinks. Not that he’s really lonely, but he knows that soon his friends will have to leave, sadly not every problem has been solved with the end of the war, if anything more have surfaced. He dreads the day he will have to say goodbye.***The story of Zuko and Sokka over the span of more than fifty years
Relationships: Aang/Katara (Avatar), Mai/Zuko (Avatar), Sokka/Suki (Avatar), Sokka/Zuko (Avatar), Toph Beifong/Sokka
Comments: 8
Kudos: 70





	I fell heavy into your arms

**Author's Note:**

> Title from Mumford and Sons’ song I Will Wait

The night following Zuko’s coronation is long and vibrating, the celebrations going on well after the darkest hour. Only after the sun is up into the sky the streets are empty and the city is calm again; no activity will be going on today and there are even talks of resuming the party for a second night, once everyone will have woken up. Zuko’s councillors have advised him against the idea, but he feels like two days of celebrations are not excessive after a hundred years war. As he is making his way back to the palace with Sokka, Suki, Mai and Ty Lee - Katara and Toph had to walk back with Aang hours before after the poor kid almost fell asleep on his feet, while Haru, who spent most of the night had decided to walk back a girl he had met that same night - he cannot help but feel incredibly thankful for being surrounded by these people, his _friends_. It is probably the combination of lack of sleep and alcohol that is influencing him, but he puts one arm over Sokka’s shoulder and the other over Ty Lee’s and they walk like this up until the palace. Once they arrive at the palace, Sokka and Suki noticeably go into the same room. Zuko feels jealous for a second, but rapidly dismiss the thought, before collapsing undressed over his own bed.

The days following the ending of the war are joyful and Zuko visits his uncle in Ba Sing Se with his friends. He feels the same pang of jealousy he felt the night of his celebration whenever Suki and Sokka are affectionate with one another, but he doesn’t dwell too much on it. _It must be loneliness_ , he thinks. Not that he’s really lonely, but he knows that soon his friends will have to leave, sadly not every problem has been solved with the end of the war, if anything more have surfaced. He dreads the day he will have to say goodbye.

Zuko is now twenty and his Fire Lord duties take up most of his time, he doesn’t have time to go around making new friends, as Uncle suggests him to do. Besides, he doesn’t feel the need for the company of people his same age, having spent the years after his banishment with only his Uncle and the crew as companions. The Kyoshi warriors used to keep him company - he particularly got very close with Ty Lee and they often visited Azula together, united by hope for her recovery - but once the attempt at his life had diminished, they had decided to head back to Kyoshi island to start training new recruits. Mai went with them, even though she’s not interested in joining the warriors, saying that she wanted to explore a little more of the world. All of his friends regularly write to him, Toph constantly taking advantage of her students to write down her letters, but Sokka is the most prolific. He writes to him about his voyages around the world, sometimes he’s with Aang and Katara, sometimes he’s alone, and Zuko asks him guidance regarding matters that are troubling him. Sokka always offers the best guidance, _you’ll be a great chief one day_ Zukko writes once, _chieftain in the Southern Tribe is not hereditary_ replies Sokka, even though they both know that the people of his tribe look up to him and that he is expected to take up his father’s role one day. Most of his voyages to the other nations are already on behalf of the Southern Water Tribe. Zuko supposes that Sokka must be scared, after all, he still hasn’t got over the fact that the faith of the Fire Nation is in his hands, so he doesn’t bring up the topic anymore.

When Zuko is twenty-two Ty Lee mentions in a letter that Suki and Sokka have broken up. It was apparently friendly and reciprocal, but Zuko, worrying about his friend, tries to reach him. The only problem is that nobody seems to know where he is. Everyone tells him not to worry, it’s apparently not strange for Sokka to let a few months pass before writing to his friends when he’s travelling on his own. _He has always written to me_ , he wants to scream, but he keeps his concerns for himself after Katara tells him he’s being unreasonable. He focuses on his duty and when he needs some company he visits Mai, who’s now working in her mom’s flower shop. Ever since she’s returned from Kyoshi island they’re as close as they were after Ba Sing Se, but they’re just friends. Zuko sometimes wonders how it would be to be together with Mai again, but their friendship is now stronger than ever, and he doesn’t want to lose it. He has hurt her once before, what’s keeping him from hurting her once again?

Four months later, Sokka arrives at Caldera without any prior notice. Zuko received a short message after three months without any letter: _I’m okay, jerkbender. Sokka._ He wrote down a long response, but never got any answer. Seeing Sokka safe and sound, Zuko is immediately lifted of a heavy weight from his chest. That night, Sokka tells him that he hasn’t run away because of the break-up, he simply needed some time on his own to figure out what life he wants to live.

“After the war, I felt like I had it all figure it out, breaking up with Suki made me realise that it wasn’t true. I was really sure I was going to spend the rest of my life with her, but with time things changed and after six years we realised that our relationship had changed. The friendship is still there, but the love wasn’t. So many things have changed after the war and without realising it I’ve changed too” he explains, looking up at the sky. They are sprawled on the grass in Zuko’s favourite garden and they have been drinking for a couple of hours now.

“And did you? Figure out how you want to live?” Zuko asks, sitting up to better observe Sokka.

Sokka sits up too and instead of answering he gets closer to Zuko. He gets closer and closer until his lips are on Zuko’s and suddenly, before Zuko has the time to realise what is happening, they’re kissing. _I’ve wanted this for a long time_ , Zuko realises, a fire growing in his belly. Sokka is surprised when Zuko responds positively to the kiss, but he’s certainly not complaining. The kiss, at first tentative, soon becomes messy and urgent, desire growing with every second. When they stop, both gasping for air, Zuko leads Sokka back to his rooms. Zuko holds Sokka in his arms when he trembles and reaches his pleasure. _I don’t want you to ever leave me again_ , he thinks once they have finished and Sokka is lying in his arms, or maybe he whispers, he’s not sure, but the other man is fast asleep, his breath calm and regular, so it doesn’t matter.

In the morning Zuko doesn’t find Sokka next to him, just a brief note. _I’m sorry, I had to leave. It’s probably better if we forget about last night_. His heart is shattered.

***

Sokka wakes up one morning more relaxed than he’s ever been in his life and he realises that he’s in Zuko’s bed. In Zuko’s arms. It is well before sunrise and he could go back to sleep, instead he decides to turn around and observe Zuko, who still hasn’t woken up, but who will rise as soon as the sun will. The firebender is calm and relaxed in his sleep, his hair free instead of gathered in his crown and scattered all over. Until last night Sokka hadn’t realised how long Zuko hair had become, playing with it is now his favourite pastime. _I’m playing with the Fire Lord’s hair_ , he chuckles. That’s when it hits him: this man he has in front is the Fire Lord. Even though he will always see as his friend first, he knows that Zuko will always put his duties as the Fire Lord before anything. And maybe, if Sokka will ask him, for once he will put Sokka before the crown, but the sad truth is that such an act will hurt him. It would put Zuko against his court and his Council. A man loving another man is not unheard of, but Zuko is expected to give an heir to the Fire Nation, he is expected to marry a woman. The last thing Sokka wants for Zuko is to suffer because of him, to suffer at all. When he had first realised that he was feeling more than friendship for Zuko he knew that nothing could happen, but then last night Zuko kissed him back and led him to his bed. They didn’t discuss their feelings, they didn’t talk much last night, but Sokka is certain that Zuko does not love him as he loves Zuko. Whatever last night was, comfort or an experiment or even something more, an infatuation, he believes that it’s better to end it quickly and swiftly. Against all his instincts that are telling him to stay, he leaves the bed, writes a few lines and then he heads to the port. As soon as he is on his boat he decides to go back home.

Sokka doesn’t cry. He doesn’t cry the day he leaves Zuko alone, still sleeping in his chamber, and he doesn’t cry the following days. And yet, he feels empty, as if he had left a piece of his heart with the firebender. His father notices that something is wrong with him, but Hakoda doesn’t press him and he’s glad to have his son to help him. Sokka stays for one year in the South, it’s the longest time ever since he and his sister had left the tribe with Aang. He’s happy to be back home. For a while he doesn’t write to Zuko and Zuko doesn’t write to him. Sokka is the first to break the silence, he thinks it is only fair, as he was the one to leave. Suddenly, their letters become as frequent as they used to be, even though at the beginning they are not as light-hearted and spontaneous as they used to be. They circle each other carefully and they never mention what happened that night.

After a year in the Southern Water Tribe, Sokka is growing restless and that’s why when Aang asks him his help in the former Fire Nation colonies, now the United Republic of Nations, he jumps at the occasion. He moves to Republic City and, as he leaves, he also leaves his love for Zuko behind, ready for a new life.

***

Zuko and Mai marry when they are twenty-five, the celebrations are as exaggerated as the ones for Zuko’s coronation were. Uncle Iroh is worried that Zuko is marrying simply because he’s expected to and that he’s chosen Mai because it seemed the easiest option, but the truth is that for once his uncle is wrong. Zuko loves Mai. She was the one to do the first move, one night while they were strolling in the gardens: she took his hand and she gently kissed him on the lips, for just a brief moment. Zuko kissed her back. He confessed to her his fear, that he might hurt her as he had done in the past. _You’re a different man, Zuko. You’ve grown_ , was her response. _You’re a different woman, too. How do you know we’ll fit together?_. She never answered his question, but after two years together, Zuko has no longer any doubt about his love for Mai and Mai’s love for him. They couldn’t be happier. The wedding his magnificent and everyone is there. This is not the first time he meets Sokka in three years, but every time he cannot help but think back to the night they were together, and wonder if the other man is thinking about the same thing. In the end, he’s happy about how things have turned out, but he cannot forget the pain he has felt.

When Izumi is born, Zuko thinks he must be the happiest person alive.

***

Sokka is happy about his work in Republic City, but the things he loves the most about living there is that he gets to be with Aang and Katara’s children. He’s there when they are born and he witnesses how fast they grow up. Sokka is the best uncle the children could have hoped for and he jumps at every occasion to babysit them. When it is clear to everyone that Bumi is a non-bender, he teaches him how to fight with a sword and with a boomerang, he doesn’t want the child of the Avatar and a Master waterbender to think that non-benders cannot be as powerful as benders. He narrates to Kya about his voyages around the world and he uses his humour to cheer up Tenzin, ever so serious even as a child. One day Katara asks him when he intends to get some children of his own and stop stealing hers. He smiles back at her and doesn’t answer. At the time, Bumi is five and Kya is two, while Tenzin isn’t already born, Izumi is three and Toph, even though she has yet to find out, is already pregnant with Lin. All his friends seem to be having children and the truth is that Sokka would like to be a dad himself, but it has been a long time ever since he has fallen in love (when Zuko had written to him that Mai was expecting he tried to imagine how it would have been, to raise a child with Zuko, but he tries not to dwell too much about it). Work keeps him busy, and even though he’s made new friends in his time in Republic City, Sokka hasn’t yet met a woman or a man that made him feel butterflies in his stomach. Some nights he thinks about Yue, about Suki and about Zuko and he wonders if he’s had his occasions but has wasted them.

The years in Republic City pass swiftly and Sokka is closer to his fortieth birthday than to his thirty-fifth one when he has one of the biggest surprises of his life: he realises all of a sudden that he’s in love with Toph Beifong. At first, he doesn’t know how to react: Zuko hasn’t certainly been the last person he has slept with, but he has been the last person he has been in love with. He muses on the idea of avoiding Toph if anything because it is impossible to keep something from her, but their work is always bringing them together ever since she has become chief of police. His only tactic is to try to act as normal as possible and hope that Toph doesn’t find out until he figures out what his next step his going to be. Then there is Yakone’s trial, and everything changes. Sokka witnesses Yakone taking full control of Toph, making her his puppet, and the thing is that Sokka finds himself in the same situation at that moment, Yakone is using his bloodbending on him too, but he couldn’t care less. A few days later after the trial, Sokka confesses his feelings and Toph doesn’t punch him.

The next four years are pure bliss. Sokka technically never moves in with Toph, but he’s always at her apartment anyway, either to watch over Lin or to cook dinner for Toph when her work keeps her so occupied that she doesn’t have time to care for herself. They’re a family, they’re happy and it’s more than Sokka could have ever hoped for. He takes care of Lin whenever he can, she is six she calls him Dad for the first time, making him cry a little; Sokka and Toph have been together for over a year now. Toph still calls him Snoozles and Sokka calls her the Blind Bandit, sometimes. Nicknames and quick jokes are basically foreplay for them.

Hakoda’s death is sudden and unannounced. It strikes Sokka and Katara like a lightning on a cloudless day. Gran Gran had died when Sokka was twenty-four, Pakku had following her after a few months. Their father was the last member of their family still alive, losing him opens a breach in Sokka’s heart. Katara and Sokka go back to the Southern Pole as soon as they hear, Aang and Toph follow them with the children the day after. After the funeral, each tribe sends a representative to choose the new Chief of the Southern Tribe. It doesn’t take them too long to decide and, to no one’s surprise, Sokka takes the place that had belonged to his father for so long. For the time Toph stays at the South Pole, they still live together as they used to do back in Republic City, but they both know that their time together is coming to an end. Toph would never renounce to her position as chief of the police of Republic City, Sokka would never renounce his role as Chief of the Southern Tribe and neither of them dares to ask the other to do it, knowing the answer too well. The night before Toph’s departure they cry, Sokka is holding Toph’s back against his chest. They still don’t know this, but Toph is already pregnant.

Sokka finds out that he and Toph have a daughter and that her name is Suyin about seven months later, through a letter written by his sister. He leaves Bato in charge and heads off to Republic City, travelling on his own in order to be faster. He reaches Air Temple island at dawn and as soon as he arrives he storms off to Toph, who is still on bedrest under Katara’s order. They don’t shout, but they have their worst fight, which goes on for over an hour, until Toph dismisses him saying that she’s tired.

“Would you have come back? If you’d known about it?” Toph asks as he’s exiting the room.

“For our daughters, always.”

“Would you have stayed?”

“You should have told me” it’s his answer.

Afterwards, he has another fight with Aang and Katara, who knew about the pregnancy and didn’t tell him. This time, he shouts. Once, they’ve finished Katara gives him Suyin, who was sleeping when he had arrived. He cries a little and then, exhausted from the journey and the emotional mess he is in, he falls asleep on the bed they had readied for him, holding his daughter close.

Being Chief of the Southern Tribe id difficult, but Sokka cannot complain. During his first years, Bato helps him as much as he can, just like he used to help his father. Besides, his friends are often there to help him, amongst all, Zuko. His correspondence with the Fire Lord had never stopped, but now that their both running a country, their letters are more frequent than in the past. When there are important matters to discuss between the Fire Nation and the Southern Water Tribe, they meet each other face to face, instead of sending ambassadors, just to spend a few days together. Sokka also visits Republic City as much as he can and he insists that Suyin and Lin spend their holidays with him at the South Pole. He still considers Lin to be his daughter, but he can sense that she is jealous of his sister for having her biological dad present in her life. The years pass and Lin stops spending her holidays at the Pole, Sokka writes her letter, but he doesn’t insist too much; when Suyin tells him that Lin has just become a detective, just like her mother, he organises a trip to Republic City to celebrate with her.

When Suyin is sixteen, she runs away from home and travels to the South Pole, seeking her father’s advice. She stays with him for a year, during that time he tells her about his voyages, just like he used to do with Kya when she was a child. Sokka is grateful that his daughter has come to him, but he sees her growing restless with time and he remembers how he used to be at her age, impatient to grow up. When she leaves, he can see that during the year they’ve spent together she has changed. Two years after, another person comes to him seeking help and guidance: the prince of the Northern Tribe. Tonraq explains to him what has happened with the spirits and asks him to accept him into the Southern Tribe, where he just wants to have a modest life. Sokka understands that there is no malice in the young man and accepts him as part of the Tribe. He tells him the story of another banished prince, a prince who had committed many errors during his youth, but had learned from them and become a better man.

***

Mai gets sick when she is fifty-five and, at first, it doesn’t seem serious but when, after two months, she still hasn’t got better, Zuko starts worrying. He calls to Caldera the two best healers he knows, Katara and his sister, Azula, that with time has learned that firebending does not bring only destruction, but it can also bring life and restoration. The two women visit Mai first on their own and then together, the answer is always the same: there is nothing they can do. The evil that is consuming Mai cannot be stopped. That’s when Zuko decides to retire, he leaves the throne to his daughter to take care of his wife. Mai would like to travel in her last years, but her conditions do not permit it. They leave Caldera and move to Amber island, where they spend every moment together, taking walks on the beach or reading on the patio. When Mai becomes too weak to walk, Zuko spends the day by her bedside.

After Mai’s funeral, Zuko decides to leave the Fire Nation. He takes Durk and together they head toward Republic City. He spends years abroad. He’s not always in Republic City but that’s the place he’s started to call his home. Aang and Katara invite him to stay on Air Temple island whenever he is around, instead of staying in some stupid hotel and creating security concerns for the city because, well, he’s a former Fire Lord, there will always be security concerns. He refuses, at first, when he still believes that this is all temporary and he will head back to the Fire Nation sooner or later. After five years, he finally accepts. He often trains with Aang, even though they no longer are the boys they used to be, and every afternoon he takes tea with Katara. Kya and Bumi have already left the island, but Tenzin still lives here. Zuko often observes him and Aang as they meditate together and wonders how it must be, to have the pressure of rebuilding a whole culture on your shoulders.

Then, Aang dies.

***

The news of the Avatar’s death travels fast. Sokka is celebrating with Tonraq, who is now like a son to him, the birth of his first daughter when he hears of it. His first reaction is denial: Aang cannot be dead. He was not sick and he is married to his sister, who also happens to be one of the most powerful healers of all the four nations. There must be a mistake. He travels as fast as he can and he arrives on Air Temple island in record time. He finds his sister surrounded by their friends and her children.

Aang’s death brings everyone closer. Sokka puts aside his grief to take care of Katara. After a month he announces her that he has to go back to the South Pole and he proposes her to come with him, to come _home_. Katara hesitates, she doesn’t want to leave Tenzin alone now that he is the leader of the air acolytes, but she also knows that the new Avatar could be reborn in the Southern Water Tribe, so she agrees. Sokka asks Zuko to come with them, too. He agrees.

***

In the following months, Katara decides to open a healing academy and having something to occupy her time helps her recover from her loss. Kya moves to the South Pole to help her mother. Zuko finds himself spending more time with Sokka than ever. He has moved here simply because the other man asked and he didn’t know where to go next anyway, but he isn’t regretting his choice. Sokka, who is starting to feel the effects of his age, often delegates his duties to someone else, so Zuko proposes him a ride on Durk or a sparring session. Sokka is grateful for these distractions.

“I should probably do what you did and retire” the Chief admits one rare afternoon that he’s seated at his desk to answer official mail, Zuko is right across him.

“What’s stopping you?”

“It’s not”, he hesitates “it’s not very traditional. Usually, a Chief dies before another one is chosen. We do not simply give away power as you do in the Fire Nation.”

“You could be the first” Zuko suggests lightly. “We’re old, Sokka. It’s about time someone younger takes power.”

And that’s true: they’re old. They are both grandfathers, Zuko regrets not spending enough time with Iroh and he’s also sure Sokka would like to spend more time with Bataar Jr and Huan. Their generation has done so much, they’ve stopped what seemed to be an endless war and they rebuilt the world afterwards, but now the world has changed and somewhere a new Avatar has born. They should start giving more space to younger generations. Zuko tells Sokka so.

“I don’t know if I’m ready to admit that my life is coming to an end. I’ve so many regrets.”

“Your life could end tomorrow, for all you know. I think the best thing is to focus on who you want to spend your remaining days with”

“There’s a person. But I’ve hurt them in the past, I don’t know if they have ever forgiven me for that” Sokka admits, keeping his eyes low.

“Sokka” Zuko whispers, and suddenly his hand is caressing the other man’s face “ _Sokka_ , I’ve forgiven you a long time ago.”

Sokka lies his hand over Zuko’s and they stay like that for a long time. When they resume working, they still haven’t stopped holding hands.

Their love is not the same love they shared when they were younger, it’s calmer and softer. They find it in the little things, like the tea that Zuko prepares for Sokka every morning or the way Sokka braids Zuko’s hair in the style of his Tribe. Sokka does renounce his title as Chief and Tonraq is chosen in his place. They leave the South Pole to spend time with their grandchildren. They enjoy their time together, knowing that they do not have much left and at night they hold each other as close as possible.

**Author's Note:**

> This is not usually my style, but I wanted to try something new so this happened. About the timeline: I tried to follow it as closely as I could, but sometimes I didn’t find any information about the events about I was writing about, so I just made up the facts (in this fic Lin is about eight years older than Su, but I’m not sure how accurate this is). This is not the first fic that I write, but it is the first that I publish in ages, so feedback of any kind is appreciated xx


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